When I'm Older

I'm fifteen, I'm screamingagain, cult-immersed, provocative,
easy, weepy, this is before
fountains froze mid geyser-rumble,
rivers' white-waters glaciated, shattered like bells.

I'm sixteen, I'm in love
again, self-absorbed, glossed paper gods on walls
pre-fabricated virility, this is before
I cut my hair for Mondays and looked away,
before the time of stale requiems, dirges.

I'm seventeen, I'm alive
again, scary-sweet bewitched,
music vibrates something secret and deep
poised on an apex, breathless,
I don't yet know how far down it can go.

I'm eighteen, I believe in rightness
again, self-reverential and compelled,
limitless and in love with my own skin
In my dreams, animal-men glide like rivers,
every song is an anthem and a bower.

I have power.
He sings now, and I know I knew that once.
He sings now, and probes
again in soft-silent dark recesses for
aching, forgotten sensations, trapped in stone walls,
He sings now, and I remember it all.
I remember it all.

Published University of Michigan Portfolio, 2005
Originally published:  Feb. 12th, 2011 at 12:09 AM