Feb. 28th, 2010 at 5:28 PM
Day Number 10 Following the Instructions in "Manifesting Your Soul Mate":
First, I want to acknowledge a slightly irascible member of the reading public who dropped me a private note on the retractable tape measure and Ace Hardware packaging: “You see that little plastic sliding lock on the front?” Ah. Thank you. Apparently, the tape measure doesn’t have to retract without warning – I could have locked it! He also mentioned the Ace screwdriver packaging. I had described sawing away at the packaging with a box cutter. “JUST PULL IT!” he yelled.
Now, he could have meant a number of different things by that, some of which are better left to the public’s imagination, but I chose to take the high road and interpret it as helpful advice … and I did try it on the two smaller screwdrivers I had also purchased from Ace. It worked. No need to saw at the tabs which held it anchored to the packaging, no need to have a tourniquet handy for the inevitable moment when my hand slipped … I needed to just … uh … “pull it”. Hard. So, a big thank you to … “[Anonymous]”!! No really, that was his name. Either he’s very shy, or his parents have a really sick sense of humor and enjoyed watching him get beaten up all the way through his childhood. No wonder he spent all his time alone in his room, playing with his retractable tape measure and pulling on his screwdrivers, getting crankier by the minute.
Well, after thanking my (one) cranky fan, I spent the last week sustaining all manner of physical injuries Feng Shui’ing the apartment within an inch of its life. Note to Future Soul Mate: are you SURE you want to pursue this? Because you’re about to hook yourself up with the biggest klutz on three continents (I’m not sure about Australia, there may be someone there who gets run over by marauding kangaroos every time they walk out the front door. And the way “George of the Jungle” keeps swinging into trees, I’m not entire sure about Africa, either. Or was George of the Jungle from the South American Amazon?? Brendan Frazer out there anywhere?? Feel free to weigh in on that.)
All I did was move two four-drawer file cabinets and re-file the contents of at least three drawers, try to disassemble a dresser carcass, and in the process managed to sustain so many splinters, scrapes, stubbed toes, broken finger nails, bent fingers, pulled muscles and overall bruises that I spent more time anti-bacterializing and band-aiding myself than I did almost anything else. So I’m pretty sure I won the gold in the North American Household Accidental Self-Inflicted Injuries Olympics this week. No one ever told me Feng Shui’ing was so dangerous. But once I can find my camera in the chaos, I'll record the "before" and "after" photos for posterity.
Meanwhile ... the exciting breaking news of the day was that just about every voice I love listening to gathered in one place today to record a fund-raising single for Haiti relief - this would be a gathering of classical crossover artists. A lot of them were running around with their cell phones videoing snippets of things, but it looked like there was at least one serious cameraman in the background filming everything that moved. Can't wait for the video and the single - should be awesome!
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