Was listening to the wonderful Blake singing "Being Close to Crazy". Great song, BTW.
I had been listening to my "vocals" playlist - I'm sure I don't have to repeat that I'm a passionate fan of classical crossover: Blake, Il Divo, Russell Watson, Mario Frangoulis, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, Teatro, G4, Vittorio Grigolo (his one classical pop album was so awesome I still can't get over it - a pox on the evil opera world for stealing him back - and him, for allowing them to!), Rhydian Roberts (and whatever happened to him, anyway?) - I could listen to them all day, really, and have on occasion.
But as wonderful as they are - and they are wonderfully glorious to listen to - there was only one voice in all those years and years that made me vibrate inside; but as I once said, until he made me vibrate, I just thought he was "cute". I did. Then he opened his mouth and that voice came out of it, and I nearly collapsed.
It wasn’t just that he made me vibrate; it was that everything vibrated inside of me. Everything inside of me first vibrated and then turned to jelly, and I doubt I could have stood up on my own two feet, so let's be thankful I was sitting down when I first heard him. I heard the line in a movie once: " ... my own personal brand of heroin." Addictive. A craving beyond craving. One man's voice. No one has ever duplicated the effect. Vibrations pouring over me and through me like water, unsettling everything, setting everything from my skin inward on delicious fire. I can't describe the all-encompassing pleasure. Meglio di sesso, in my honest opinion.
Being close to crazy.
So then – after I’d calmed back down - I thought, ok, so what do these vibrations mean? Why did I react to those particular, specific vibrations? Obviously I can’t kidnap the poor guy and make him sing to me all day, so how can I recreate those vibrations that his voice manages to send out through the air like … Eros’ flaming arrow?
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hold him personally responsible for the quality of his singing voice, beyond the hard work of developing it and maintaining it. He really did luck out, being handed a set of vocal chords that put out an amazing, unique sound that I happened to vibrate to. And, as I said, I’m not alone in that, or you wouldn’t see women and girls swooning and screaming at the sound of his voice, all over the world. It’s a subjective thing – I’ll bet there are a different set of girls feeling the same way about, say, Bruno Mars’ voice. Or another set hyperventilating over, say, Keith Urban’s.
So, this is not an obsession with HIM, per se – and no, he doesn’t need to call the local carbinieri and say, “Um … would you mind standing outside my house for the rest of my life? I’m getting a little nervous, here …” – but an obsession with the sound his voice makes, and the impact of that sound on me personally.
And since this was the first time that ever happened to me, it made me begin thinking about why. Why THAT sound, why THAT type of vibration, why now? And more relevantly, what else is capable of sending out those exact types of vibrations?
Not all that long ago, by way of investigating, I sat on You Tube and listened to Tibetan monks singing, or chanting or whatever it is they do … “Ommmmmmm…”
Not only did the sound NOT make me vibrate; it was actually uncomfortable. I stopped listening after only a few minutes. There are other male singing voices that give me the creepy crawlies – for example, while I love Michael Franks’ song “Popsicle Toes”, I can’t stand to hear him singing it, because I don’t like male “folk-songy” voices; they make me think of wimpy-clingy neediness, I have no idea why. I must also have a decidedly anti-women side to my nature (“No! REALLY?”) (Oh shut up) – because I can’t stand to listen to the vast majority of women singing; women’s voices go right through my head like an ice pick, and by the time we get to the operatic sopranos and the bimbo pop queens, I’m clutching my head and screaming. There are a few exceptions: Rosemary Clooney, Diana Krall, Joan Armatrading, maybe a few others, probably because their voices are melodiously lower.
Sounds I really like: “Nessun Dorma” – makes me cry; does not make me vibrate. I adore any Rossini overture – ditto. I have no idea why, but I adored Eddie Jobson’s Theme of Secrets – I actually see colors and movement of shapes behind my eyes when listening to that. The theme of Cinema Paradiso, but that has more to do with the film than the soundtrack. There must be others, I just can’t remember what they are, now. But what else besides his voice will make me vibrate?? Sure, a vibrator, but actually, I’ve never tried one, and would that vibrate your entire body? I’m thinking not. Sitting on a washing machine??? (Actually I’ve never tried that either – any other women out there ever tried sitting on a washing machine? Would love to hear what happened!)
Is there something I could change in me so that I wouldn’t vibrate? (But do I really want to?) Maybe so, if only so that it wouldn’t feel so perpetually intense, the way it does now.
Meanwhile, when I’m not vibrating, I’m reading The Vatican Heresy: Bernini and the Building of the Hermetic Temple of the Sun (Bauval, Hohenzollern, 2014) – which is almost a rehash of everything Frances A. Yates wrote in Giordano Bruno. It appears to be proof that everyone in the Vatican is either (a) naïve and gullible for being unaware that Bernini designed parts of the Vatican to celebrate the same Hermetic principles for which they tortured and burned Bruno and others, and threatened Galileo, or (b) appallingly hypocritical for being fully aware that Bernini designed parts of the Vatican to celebrate the same Hermetic principles for which they tortured and burned Bruno and others, and threatened Galileo.
Which way do we want to go with this – gullible & naïve, or spectacularly hypocritical? - and is anyone on the planet even remotely surprised?
Historical issues: the author appears to have not done any research into the burning of the great Library at Alexandria, instead blaming the “fanatical christian mob” for all of it without a single caveat. Far be it from me to defend “fanatical christian mobs” (trust me, I would love to be able to blame them unequivocally), but there are some other culprits who might also share responsibility for the appalling loss of world knowledge – one of them being Julius Caesar. Do I think christians are blameless? Hell no, they did attack the Library at Alexandria and that alone is unforgiveable, but I do think the jury is still out on the extent of their wanton destructiveness.
ANCIENT EGYPT THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD
It may have been a Million years ago
The Light was kindled in the Old Dark Land
With which the illumined Scrolls are all aglow,
That Egypt gave us with her mummied hand:
This was the secret of that subtle smile
Inscrutable upon the Sphinx’s face,
Now told from sea to sea, from isle to isle;
The revelation of the Old Dark Race;
This was the wisdom of the Bee and Bird,
The ancient darkness spake with Egypt’s Word;
Ant, Tortoise, Beaver, working human-wise;
Here was the primal message of the skies:
The Heavens are telling nightly of her glory,
And for all time Earth echoes her great story.
BY GERALD MASSEY 1907
They performed with Laura Pausini at Madison Square Garden, which – despite the fact that it was Madison Square Garden! – was still not worth the trip to go see them, if I also had to listen to a roster of other people. Of course, my decision to not go see them was before they published their 2014 summer tour schedule, with New York and Boston nowhere on the list.
So I was finally able to file my income taxes without having a nervous breakdown. Done! Done! Done! Felt like having a glass of wine and celebrating, even if it was 7:30 on a Sunday morning. (I don’t mind paying taxes, particularly – well I do, but recognize that it is something of a necessary evil, let’s put it that way - , but I do hate trying to figure out all the paperwork and filing them.) Usually I end up twitching and near hysterics.
I still can’t quite figure out what Saturn being in retrograde means, beyond “a time to cultivate discipline, patience and self-restraint.” Unpack the flogger and handcuffs? HAHA, just kidding – I don’t even own any handcuffs.
I have noticed that I am dropping things more often than I usually do, bumping into things, knocking things over, tripping over things … although I’m not sure that has anything to do with anything. For example, just this morning I reached into the dishwasher to retrieve a teaspoon and came within a hair’s width of impaling my wrist on the tines of a fork – I still have a line of red marks on my wrist, but consider myself lucky I didn’t need to explain to the emergency room why it LOOKED like I had decided to end it all – suicide by fork. I followed that up with barking my shin, banging my knee ... I’ve been spending most of the time since Saturn went retrograde screaming “WTF??!!??” and “OMG!!!” every few hours. I’m also oversleeping horribly in the morning. Saturn being connected with my sun sign (Capricorn), I suspect the impact of retrograde is: “your entire life is going to unspool and start going backwards!” Or something along those lines.
Let the unspooling begin.
No comments:
Post a Comment