So, the litany of Sky Sadist activities continues: despite the fact that the insulin wasn’t working, my blood sugars were above 300 and we were up to 30 units and the endocrinologist in Lawrence wasn’t even TRYING to keep track of my status, in the midst of all the errands I had to run on the day before Christmas because Sutton Street Service had screwed me up so badly, I thought I could swipe up a small spiral notebook, to jot down a grocery list in, for a dollar while I stopped for brunch.
And I could. What I forgot was that the Dollar Store is the poor man’s Neiman Marcus and it was the day before Christmas. I stood online for 30 minutes to buy it. I could have driven home, retrieved one of my own notebooks and been in the next county long before I checked out of the so-called “Dollar Store” – and then stood around wondering why I was in the next county. Despite the name spelled out in cheesy lights, it wasn’t a “Dollar Store”, by the way; any more than your local “Five and Dime” actually sells things for a nickle and a dime. And it was ridiculously understaffed.
Besides, who expects your friendly neighborhood clueless Latino grandparents to do their weekly grocery shopping at the Dollar Store, and sllllllowly place each can on the one and only open checkout counter at the pace of drugged snails, one at a time, with a three minute pause between each and every can for a lengthy discussion in Spanish about why they were buying chili con carne instead of porkos con beanos? A line of about 30 people queued behind them while they did this, and neither grandma or pa gave a rat’s ass in either language that they had effectively brought the decrepit and corrupt ghetto town of Lawrence, Massachusetts to a screeching halt on the day before Feliz Navidad … not that anyone gives a rat’s ass about the decrepit and corrupt ghetto town of Lawrence, Massachusetts.
The next day – which was Christmas for those keeping track - I discovered while online that Uncle Bob’s Storage in North Andover had helped themselves to an unauthorized $251 off of my debit card on the 5th of December and because it was Christmas when I discovered the heist, I couldn’t go screaming down the road to demand an explanation and get my money back. The same day I also discovered that Fidelity, the most useless of the Wall Street useless assholes, decided to shut down its website, also on Christmas, so you can’t go in and do anything, like, oh say, FIND OUT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU DON’T HAVE ANYMORE!
Two days after Christmas I finally managed to speak to Uncle Bob’s Storage on my company dime. The dumb broad who answered the phone swore she didn’t mess up nuthin‘ and the bank obveesly made an error! Back to the Merrimack Valley Credit Union, who calmly insisted the unauthorized charge was from Uncle Bob’s and shrugged about the heist. I began to twitch uncontrollably.
I called the 866 number on Uncle Bob’s Storage website – which one would HOPE would send one to the Home Office. The web site said that their phone number was available from to . I called the number at . The automated phone service sent me back to the voice mail of the North Andover office (who had already blown me off), who announced it opened at , and not , as their web site announced. I know that my blood pressure by this point was somewhere near “KILL ME I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”
I finally hunted down the phone number of the Home Office in Rochester, which no longer goes by the name of “Uncle Bob”, but by the name “Sovereign Self Storage”. I call them at in the morning. You are given the opportunity to speak to the operator, who does not answer, because she “is in a meeting”. THE TELEPHONE OPERATOR IS IN A MEETING??!!?? About what? How to steal from people’s debit cards, $251 at a time???
You are given the option of leaving your name and number which you know won’t do you a damn bit of good, because no one will call you back - ever. I call back an hour later at and again at and the operator is STILL “in a meeting”. Right.
At this point, I was practically choking in apoplectic rage at the corrupt and evil ineptitude of the so-called “businesses” that steal from citizens of the United States of America USSR
The good news was that I finally called the Andover
Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the morally bankrupt wasteland of
Happy Holidays to you too, Sovereign Self Storage, Sutton Street Service, Fidelity Financial Destruction Services, Mass DMV (“Demonic Motherf*&^kging Vipers”), Merrimack Valley Credit Union and the idiot woman from Uncle Bob’s Storage.
And I still don’t have a f&*%&*%^ing sticker!
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